Single Men, Stop Posing in a Ballcap with the Car or Fish
GPT and online dating
GPT is known to hallucinate but, more than once, the idea of men posing with cars and fish in dating profiles was marked in a list of no-nos.
I have friends who are single and work with young adults professionally who sometimes complain aloud about how hard it is to meet people.
I recall a friend sharing that she went on a date and met the guy in a parking lot. When he got out of the car immediately apologizing for being several inches shorter than his dating profile. Videos on social media catch men flirting with women while trying to stand on their tippy-toes. Fascinating to me, would read both lay and academic articles about the topic, despite not being in the game as it were.
This post is not about gender roles as much as it is behavior in mate selection and optimizing dating profiles. GPT can help, especially when you get it to stop being nice and start being real1.
Also this post is mostly concerned with men because I was curious about how men feel they do not receive enough engagement2 .
A few takeaways: It turns out that looks matter but in ways you think and also not the way you think. It surprises me when people do not use photos well—even conventionally attractive people. This goes for homes too, but I digress3. Most everyone sees someone before they get to know someone so let them see you.
But it seems like men are giving a few signals that are neutral to disadvantageous at best.
Posing with a fish or a car? Skip.
Photos with the boys or in groups? Also skip. Why start of with confusion as to who is who or (worse) comparing?
Tell the truth about your career and height. Lose the ball cap.
Have a quality photo. I asked GPT to be specific here:
The man is centered in the frame, looking directly into the camera with a genuine smile that reaches his eyes. His face is well-lit, clearly visible, and not obscured by sunglasses, hats, or other accessories. The background is non-distracting, perhaps a neutral or natural setting that doesn't draw attention away from him.
He's dressed in a way that represents his personal style, whether that's a casual t-shirt and jeans, a suit and tie, or outdoor adventure gear. He appears clean and well-groomed, demonstrating that he values his appearance and knows how to take care of himself.
His posture is open and confident, but not overly posed. He looks relaxed and comfortable, which makes him appear approachable and easy to connect with.
And what about engagement? Is it set it and forget it?
GPT again
Don't wait for others to message you first. Be proactive and initiate conversations. When you do, ensure your messages are personalized and show that you've read the person's profile. Generic messages like "Hey" or "What's up?" might not grab their attention. A thoughtful question about something specific in their profile can help spark a conversation.
Disappointed in men if your first message is hey or what’s up.
And early output emphasized “showing confidence” but when I prompted it to dispense with the pleasantries, “looks matter” was the first response.
Women often receive more, including unwanted engagement.
I believe any home can be sold but you have to show it in its best light and at price the market can bear. This is not about homes.